Letting go of pain can be scary

Im attached to my pain

We have become so identified with our pain
that it’s hard to imagine what life would be like without it.
Letting go of our pain can be scary.

How do you overcome the fear of not knowing who you are without your pain?

An honest Question!!
So wonderful, really.
It’s something that took me a long time to be willing to admit.
That I’m attached to my pain.
It seems ridiculous to admit that!
Of course I don’t want my pain. Why would you say I’m attached to it?

And yet it is the truth. Only by facing it can I have a hope of transforming it.
I have been doing inner work for about 29 years
and I still am working on that one every day!!

But it’s better than it used to be.
I have gone through stages where I thought I was over it,
and I have gone through stages where I thought I was drowning in it.

Letting go of my pain has been a powerful journey.
Fighting something so deep requires at least a two-pronged approach.

1)- The Mind
We must deal with our minds.
That is an important focus of our work, for we live in a thought world.
We experience thousands of thoughts a day.
When they are fearful and tense, We are fearful and tense.

So watch your thoughts.
Watch them bubble up in your mind
Observe them, and learn to not identify with them.
Learn to change them into thoughts of abundance and joy.
2) The Heart

What would you do if a young child you knew well came up to you crying, saying;
“I’m not good enough,” or “I’m afraid”
or something like that?

My instinct would be to hold him or her close and comfort them.
Let them know they are dearly loved – That I love them just the way they are;
That they are beautiful and wonderful and special in my eyes;
That they have great potential, that they can do and be anything and everything they want!!!!

This is what we have to do for ourselves.

Of course, we won’t believe it right away.
Neither would the crying child!
But if you can keep telling yourself these things,
If you can really give yourself love and compassion for the hard work you’re doing and the sincerity of your efforts,
If you can wrap your arms around yourself and hold on tight even when you are squirming to let go…

Love yourself unconditionally.

Practicing this I am have become more patient with my faults, mistakes and shortcomings and there are plenty of them!!

A pleasant side effect of doing this loving work of learning to love ourselves more is that we learn to give love in a deeper way to others as well…
What a gift!!

2 Responses to “Letting go of pain can be scary”

  1. Scott Slocum Says:

    Very nice, Vivek. A lovely practice, indeed.

  2. Vivek Patel Says:

    Thank you Scott.
    It’s a pleasure to have you reading my humble blog!

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